Where did time go?

So, in just one short month I will be 22 years old. While those older folks out there reading this might think that sounds young, I have to say, I have never felt older. Turning 21 was exciting because now I could finally order my favorite merlot at dinner, and while it sounded old I was finally at the golden age. I really didn't care that much that I was entering my twenties. However as I sit here approaching my 22nd birthday, my college graduation and entering the work force I cannot help but wonder WHERE DID TIME GO? And time please if you’re reading this do me a favor and slow down.

I can remember my first day of first grade, sixth grade, freshmen year of high school and I swear I was just a freshman in college yesterday. While I sat there through every semester hoping time would speed by just praying for the real world, a world without tests and twenty page research papers, I'm beginning to realize how lucky students are. As of now I'm about to enter the biggest test of all; LIFE.

Just yesterday I was five years old and people were asking me what I wanted be when I grew up. I’m pretty sure my answer was a princess. In elementary school they asked again; I wised up this time and answered ruler of my own planet. By middle school my dreams became a little more realistic answering the question with USA soccer player. By high school I had money on my mind and my answer was a lawyer. Today as I am about to receive my diploma people are no longer asking me what I want to be when I grow up, they are asking what are you going to do now? Because reality check I am now a grown up. However I have never been more unsure of what I want to do when I grow up than I am right now as a grown up.

Back when I believed I was going to be the ruler of my own planet I used to think "by the time I'm 22 I will be living in the city in a huge apartment overlooking Lake Michigan or even better on Michigan Ave. I will be making six figures, I will be engaged and so passionate about my career that I love going to work every day". However that isn't the case I am about to move back into my childhood bedroom and hope that this economy takes a turn for the better.


How can I be a grown up though? Is this possible? Do I no longer get months off from classes? Can I no longer just skip my whole day of classes and errands because there is always tomorrow? I am a grown up or at least in about a month I will be. Where is the road map to life, where is the master plan that gives me all the answers? I no longer have the luxury of looking up the answers to the TEST (life) in my textbook that is way over priced to begin with. I can no longer schedule my classes on my time, I will work 40 hours a week and get paid nothing. I will have to find time to work out and hang out and relax because once again I am no longer a child regardless of the fact that I still sleep with my baby blanket.

 People all around me are telling me that I am about to enter the prime time of my life "my twenties", however I have to ask myself what is so fun about being jobless one month from graduation and without a clue as to who I am or what I am going to become? I'm sorry to start my blog of on such a negative note but I'm just a girl trying to find my place in this big world.

So once again I have to ask my readers out there WHERE DID THE TIME GO? And how do I make it slow down? Sometime we all forget to enjoy the simple pleasures in life; we get so wrapped up in our worlds of school, work and stress we forget to slow down. This is exactly what has happened the past 22 years of my life. I am now afraid to blink because when I open my eyes I am afraid I will be thirty.

I guess I just have to realize I am not the only one out there who is trying to find out who they are and what they are looking for out of life. That as old as 22 may seem I still have my whole life ahead of me. People are always trying to tell me that the fun of life is not knowing. That I need to have faith in my plan. So as I approach the big 22 I am just going to try to tell myself no one has all the answers, no one has the road map to life and time will go as fast or slow as we want it to be.

So to my readers out there I want to leave you with this quote by Gilda Radner “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”

Sometimes your story isn't quite working out the way you planned but life is not a reality tv show, it is not scripted and we are all just along for the ride.